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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28145817">for forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstgirl/pseuds/worstgirl'>worstgirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>esther [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, LITERALLY, M/M, Older esther, Photography, Siblings, adult jeremy heere, based on the song yes, esther’s back babey, falling, fluff with an angsty ending (?), mentions of broken bones, ppl who ship incest dni</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:21:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28145817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstgirl/pseuds/worstgirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>all we see is sky<br/>for forever<br/>watch the world pass by<br/>for forever</p><p>~~</p><p>jeremy gets to take esther on an outing for a day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jake Dillinger/Jeremy Heere (mentioned), Jeremy Heere &amp; Original Child Character, Jeremy Heere &amp; Original Female Characters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>esther [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1428571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>for forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The summer after Esther’s freshman year was one of the best of her life. She had finally convinced her dad to let her get a pet snake, she’d been assistant stage manager for their spring musical, and she’d started taking photos for the yearbook. And, most of all, her mother still worked through the summer, leaving her free to zip around the streets on her skates as if she could chase the sun. And it meant that Jeremy could visit more often. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled up to the house in his beat up car on an early June afternoon, and she rushed out to hug him, camera dangling from hermeck. He stumbled back, laughing a bit. His hugs were always a little awkward and gangly, but his arms were long enough to make her miss them when she pulled away. She always missed him. Sometimes she wished he was her full blood brother, so she could see him all the time, but, well. She knew that wouldn’t work out. These days to themselves were more than enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeremy’s car was old, but in a comfortable way. It was new enough to have an aux cord, and she immediately snatched it from him with a grin as they started the drive. She had a playlist for this sort of thing, titled </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jemmy Jams. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jeremy hated the title, but she knew he always got so into it when Footloose came on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s on the game plan for today?” She said, tucking her feet under her legs. They were on their way out of town, towards an area of town she’d never been to before. It was obviously heading towards the more rural area. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see, Es.” Jeremy tried to sound nonchalant, but his grin gave him away. He was so stupidly proud of himself for what he’d come up with, and she’d let him be proud. She snapped a photo of his profile, and he glanced over at the last second to smile, a bit exasperated, at the shutter’s click.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther curled up into the seat of his car. She loved it here. She’d spent so many days and hours in this passenger seat. She’d fallen asleep in the backseat to NPR while Jeremy and his boyfriend, Jake, talked about something she couldn’t properly remember. She’d cried to him after her first crush rejected her in this seat. Everything just felt safe here, like she couldn’t get hurt if she was in this little bubble of joy, trundling down the winding country road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first notes of You’re the One That I Want filtered through his shitty speakers, and Esther leaped forwards to turn the volume up higher. Almost immediately, Jeremy started singing, eyes still on the road. Except, when he got to the ‘It’s electrifying!’ line, he reached up, poking her side. Esther couldn’t help but burst into laughter, batting his hand away. “Hey! Not fair!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is too fair!” He said, but they were both grinning so widely neither of them took the other seriously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They cycled their way through the classics. Bohemian Rhapsody, every song from Avril Lavigne’s Best Damn Thing album, Toxic, so many songs that Esther’s throat was a little raw. In a good way, though. It was enough for Esther to grip at Jeremy’s cardigan sleeve to point at a little ice cream stand on the side of the road called A La Mode. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They toppled out of the car, laughing. “This place looks like it’d be a cryptid place. Like, we’re gonna drive back, and it’s not gonna be here.” Jeremy joked, trying to spin his keys around his finger in a presumably cool way. They fell off, and they dropped to the ground with a clink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther snorted. “Well, I’ll take a photo, just in case.” She said, grinning as she lined up her camera, taking a photo of the sign. The sky was so blue today. It was beautiful, almost a perfect contrast to the red and white sign of the tiny hut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful, if that photo doesn’t exist when you go to develop it, you might just be cursed.” Jeremy said, tucking his keys into his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, hope we get good ice cream out of the curse, at least.” Esther joked, letting her camera settle back around her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were back in the car in a few minutes, after Esther teased Jeremy for getting Rocky Road (</span>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s such old man ice cream, Jem”</span>
  </em>
  <span>). Her own nose was a little smeared with Superman ice cream, which he teased her right back for, making her stick out her red and blue stained tongue at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another fifteen minutes later, Esther could see their destination. A grove of trees, growing a little out of control, but in perfectly spaced lines. She lit up. “Apple picking?” She said, grinning a bit and turning to Jeremy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… not exactly.” He said, grinning a little back as he pulled into the gravel driveway. “It’s kind of, y’know, shut down. So we’re not actually apple picking. But it’s where Jake took me for one of our first dates, and I’ve always wanted to bring you here with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther nudged him. “You’re such a sap.” She said with a snort. “Sentimental.” She corrected herself, at Jeremy’s good natured glare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quiet, or you can’t take pictures with me in them anymore.” It was an empty threat, and she knew it. He always let her take photos. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took maybe two minutes for Jeremy to pull a blanket from his trunk, trying to move all the miscellaneous things he had to extract it. And then they were off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trees made a ring around the open field, stretching out for much longer than Esther had expected. The grass was a little overgrown, but still soft under her sneakers. They found a place to lay out the blanket, and Esther fell back onto it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeremy was more dignified, sitting down properly crosslegged. He always tried to be a little more mature around her. She knew he was just as childish as she was, though. She liked that about him. He didn’t make her feel like a little kid, and he never had, even when she was a kid. He’d always made her feel the right mixture of young and mature all at once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The sky’s so blue.” She said, her voice soft in awe. “I swear, the sky looks like it goes on for forever.” One hand held her camera from slipping off her chest, the other resting on the grass. “It’s so beautiful out here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. But also, I think the sky does go for forever. Until you come right back to here. It’s kind of a universal thing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther couldn’t help but laugh a little, nudging Jeremy’s leg with her foot. “Oh, shush, you nerd.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t help it, I’m a literal sort of guy. What can I say?” He nudged her right back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jemmy, you’re literally a video game journalist with a theater degree, there’s no way you’re a ‘literal sort of guy.’” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, touche. I’m not gonna argue with that.” Jeremy leaned back on his hands, tilting his head up to look at the sky. “I don’t think even your camera could make this look prettier.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther rolled over, resting her chin on her hands. She looked up at him, just to be annoying. “Do you think my photos are pretty?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, of course, you egg.” He ruffled her hair. “I’m gonna have you take photos at my wedding.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That made Esther perk up. “Are you and Jake finally getting married? C’mon, it’s been, like, seven years!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been five, Essie.” Jeremy’s cheeks turned even more red as he got flustered. “And we don’t- we’re not- I don’t think- shut up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther giggled, falling back to stare at the sky again. She couldn’t help but make an effort to capture the beauty of the sky, before she got to her feet. “C’mon, I wanna find more things to take photos of!” She started tugging at her brother’s hand, trying to get him to stand. He did so, reluctantly, huffing a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have so much energy.” Jeremy’s voice was more of a groan as he got up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re an old man in a twenty-one year old’s body.” Esther retorted, walking backwards. “I think I can hear your hips cracking from here!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a—“ Jeremy started, before he saw Esther’s faux sad face, pouting lips and big eyes. “Wonnnnderful sister.” His words were dripping with sarcasm, but she took it as a genuine compliment, grinning and flipping her braid over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They headed for the trees, starting up the slightly overgrown path. Esther kept stopping to take photos— an apple, half ripened, half not. A cluster of mushrooms at the base of a tree trunk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, this is like hiking a mountain.” Jeremy groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanna do that someday.” Esther said, not even looking up from the tiny cluster of flowers she’d found. “Hike a mountain. Ooh, like the Appalachians. Those are pretty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure you’re my sister?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther grinned at him. They looked so similar. Well, they both looked mostly like their mom, all soft faces and freckles and messy reddish curls. Neither of them liked looking like their mother too much, but Esther liked looking like Jeremy. “Nah. Maybe I’m an alien sent to spy on you.” She made a creepy noise, wiggling her fingers at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dork.” Jeremy was quiet for a moment. “Is that on your bucket list? Hiking the Appalachians?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a bucket list.” Esther said with a shrug, straightening up and continuing down the path. “Why, do you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Used to.” Jeremy said, shortly. Esther didn’t pry. She’d learned not to. He’d tell her, if he wanted to. There were some things he said in the same tone of voice that she didn’t dare talk about. Like the marks on his back she’d seen when he took her swimming. Or the way he seemed to flinch inside, as if guilty, when she said the word loser. And things like this. “I want to write a book. I’ve always tried, but words are difficult. I just end up writing the same thing over and over again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Boring. Don’t you wanna do something fun? Ooh! Like learning how to sail, that’d be fun.” She turned backwards to look at him, walking as if she wasn’t terrified of falling backwards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you imagine me on a boat?” Jeremy said with a small grin. “I would literally crash immediately.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, you’re right.” She sighed a bit. “But you could get rescued dramatically by a pretty mermaid and end up marrying her later.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeremy laughed. “Nah. I’ve got someone for me, thanks.” Then his grin got mischievous. “Ooh, whatever happened with that girl on crew, anyways? Ever notice you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther’s cheeks started growing hot, and she stuck out her tongue. “I went to one of their, uh, rowing things. Didn’t work out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could she not notice you with this carrot top?” Jeremy messed with her braid again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A groan came from Esther’s lips as she batted her hands around, trying to get him to let go. “Leave me aloneeee. She was an upperclassman, anyways. I was doomed from the start.” She heaved a dramatic sigh, putting a hand to her heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure you wanna stay backstage, kid?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please, I’ve got enough things to memorize with cues.” She had an entire binder still full of notes and cues and which mic went to which mediocre actor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She snapped another photo of Jeremy, hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky in between the tree branches. “Clearly, you haven’t been in theater long enough, Essie.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, I’ll never pass you, old man.” She stepped back, realizing they had looped back to the clearing. Their blanket lay, thankfully, untouched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeremy laughed, looking around with a look of awe on his face. The clearing stretched out below them, picture perfect and sunny. The yellow-green grass seemed to be made of liquid gold, with the apple trees obscuring all but the slightest sliver of road. Esther could just barely make out Jeremy’s car, teal against the slate grey of pavement. And above it all, the endless blue sky, going on for forever. She snapped a few photos. They had a moment of silence as Jeremy pulled Esther into a sideways hug. “You know what? There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here, right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Esther felt a small lump in her throat. She almost joked about how he’d like it better if he were in bed, or with Jake, or playing video games, but all that came out was a soft “Me too,” as she leaned into his side. If she could stay like this forever, just her and her brother letting the world and all it’s messed up events pass them by, she would in a heartbeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stood like that for a moment or two, just taking in the view of the clearing and the orchard. “Hey, Es?” Jeremy said, his voice sounding a little mischievous. Esther glanced up as Jeremy’s grin snuck onto his face. It was the same one he got when he suggested that Esther help him prank Michael, when they had shared an apartment. “You’re right.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um. About what?” She asked, confused. “I mean, of course I’m right, but…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll never pass me.” And then he was taking off across the clearing, much faster than she thought he could run. “C’mon!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although she tripped on her shoelaces a little, Esther caught herself, racing after him. She was breathless from laughing when she finally caught up to him, chest heaving more than it should have been. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What- was that- about-“ She panted out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing something I haven’t done in ages.” Jeremy said, circling the tree. It was taller than the others, one of the tallest in the entire orchard. He dug his foot into the bark, managing to grab one of the branches and pull himself up. “I’ll make sure it’s safe.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s gonna be a great picture.” Esther found herself climbing after him. She knew she’d hate trying to climb down, but she’d worry about that later. For now, she was just wondering how the world would look from that high up. She quickly surpassed Jeremy, who had settled on a branch halfway up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Es, careful.” Jeremy said, some of his anxious nature creeping into his voice. She’d asked him not to be too overcautious around her— it was one of the few arguments they’d had, back when he treated her like she was a breakable child. So she shrugged off his warning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine!” She called down, not daring to look down. She was focused on the very top, on hooking her sneakers and her fingers into the crooks of branches, one branch after another, one foot after the other, until she broke out near the top, feet planted on two branches. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just as beautiful up here, if not more so. The sky seemed even more expansive, like an ocean of clouds and birds stretching as far as she could see. For a moment, everything seemed perfect. Sunlight shining on her face, a branch in her hand. She reached for her camera, shifting her weight to one branch to get a better angle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything happened in quick succession, after that. The shutter of her camera clicked closed. Her vision lurched suddenly to one side. Jeremy screamed her name in a tone she’d never heard from him before. And she felt the branch give way underneath her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next thing she knew, she was on the ground. She couldn’t breathe, her head was spinning, and her ears were ringing. She tried to move her arm, but it was numb, like someone had shoved it in a bucket of ice water for too long. Despite the fact that her eyes were filled with little blurring tears, she looked up at the tree, at the blue expanse of sky above her. All she could see was sky, stretching for miles and miles until she couldn’t see anything else, it was all encompassing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, she saw a blur of dark blue, and red hair, and she heard Jeremy’s voice from somewhere far away in her mind. He’d come to get her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was going to be okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her vision cleared up, and after Jeremy fussed over her, making sure she wasn’t bleeding, he tried to help her stand, taking her arm. She cried out in pain, so Jeremy just scooped her up, carrying her to the car. Her arm was throbbing in pain now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t get to see if the ice cream stand was there on their return trip, or if it had disappeared. Her eyes were screwed shut against the pain as Jeremy called her dad. She caught the words ‘broken’ and ‘hospital’ and a lot of ‘sorry’s. When she finally opened her eyes, she was angled to see the blue sky out the window, blurring past her in the speed of Jeremy’s car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had a cast on her arm for a few months. It wasn’t that bad, really. Her friends signed it, and Jeremy signed, and even her dad signed. Luckily, her camera hadn’t been too badly damaged in the fall, and she’d developed the photos. They had turned out beautifully, especially the last photo. It had perfectly captured the deep blue sky, and the tops of the apple trees, and the way it made her feel like everything else was so miniscule and important all at once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even long after her cast was off, she kept that photo over her desk. Her dad called it her friendly reminder to not do reckless things. It was, she supposed. But it was also a reminder that good days happened, and even if she fell, he’d come to get her. Everything would be okay. Maybe not at first, but eventually, they could be alright for forever. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so,,, i’m writing for iced coffee i promise but i found a video of my fc for esther singing for forever and got obsessed. (if you’re wondering, taylor richardson!! its a good cover and makes me feel things.) so i busted out this fic. it is 1:16 am i feel like a god.</p><p>i hope you enjoyed, and since i probably won’t post again, happy last day of hanukkah to any jewish readers out there, merry christmas to those of you who celebrate, and to anyone else, stay safe for the holidays. love u guys!!</p><p>stay safe, and stay wonderful, loves!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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